Thursday, January 13, 2011

God is good

Brrrrrr! It's a cold gray day and the kids have been given the day off because last night's rain on top of the icy roads, has left the roads slicker then a skating rink. We are locked in for the day and thankfully daddy has stocked us up on movies and snacks to last for the next few days. I'm in the middle of a couple good books and I'm still trying to finish some handmade craft gifts that I started before christmas. Looks like I have plenty to do along with what feels like 50 other things I have started to do or want to do.

This past week has been a trying yet beautiful reconnection with God for me. I have always loved my relationship with my maker and although the past few years have been bleak I have hung on by a thread and nurtured this relationship as much as I emotionally can. The feeling or sense that I can weep, laugh, worry, sing, fear or boldly say my feelings in prayer to this one special relationship... and listen to... and receive response from, gives me exactly what I need to feel strength, love, peace, security and even just that needed boost to pop me over the top of an obstacle. I am reliving the importance of prayer (the discussion, laying it all out on the table) and meditation (the listening... quiet and soulful at the feet of the one who knows all). I am practicing the yoga asanas as what they are meant for, a physical release in order to open the mind and spirit, before prayer and meditation. I have also found that the food taken in highly effects the productivity of prayer and meditation and once again I am bewildered at how our body, mind and spirit were so intricately put together, as though three pieces of cloth sewn together, creating a direct effect on two pieces, as one piece is moved at any given moment. The challenges of building and maintaining a healthy mind, body and spirit takes daily work and focus, which in these busy days, can be almost more than one person can handle. This is exactly the reason I turn to my maker, setting down all the issues, all the aspects of life I desire to build as an overwhelming wave is swept over me and the image comes to mind, of an ant helplessly staring up a mountain that needs to be moved. I am ignorant, helpless and weak. One day at a time... one moment at a time, knowing that the hand I hold, is aware of every day and every moment before and after this one. The words spoken to me are as a stitch securing my mind, body and spirit as one piece... one complete unit, with a purpose. I am thankful, grateful and humbled at the fact that, although hard, I was given my life bootcamp in a religious cult to teach me how to reach out for that spiritual connection to seek (on bad days), to praise (on good days) and to be thankful for all days, good or bad, for I am here. I have life. I have breath. And I have love.

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